The Impact Of Holiday Grief
The holidays can be stressful for a period that is supposed to be joyous. While there are many moments where we feel content, most adults find this period anxiety-producing or stressful, even for those who genuinely enjoy it and look forward to it each year. After all, you still have to go to work, pay the bills, keep up with the house, and raise families.
Wek have significant holiday dates that quickly approach. There are presents to buy, holiday parties to attend, family dinners to go to, and meals to prepare. It’s no wonder that many of us feel intense feelings of being overwhelmed during the holiday season.
Then, there is the darker side of the holidays. Many people feel an overwhelming amount of sadness during this period. Most often, this sadness stems from experiencing grief.
The Impact of Grief During The Holidays
Maybe you are lucky enough to have family and friends to celebrate with. Or, perhaps your circle has dwindled over the years, and you don’t have a huge support group. In both these cases, losing loved ones can taint the joyous feelings that the holidays typically bring.
When you are missing people who are no longer alive, it can feel like a ton of bricks in your soul. You look back at the past with fond memories, of course, and you miss them all year round. However, there’s just something about the constant gatherings and memories that can make anyone feel forlorn.
As a society, we put a lot of pressure on people to feel happy and excited with all these significant holidays occurring quickly. On the surface, we may do exactly that. However, underneath the surface, it is harder to hide your feelings of grief from yourself. Intense feelings of grief may cause someone to feel anxious, depressed, or easily irritated.
How To Deal With Grief During The Holidays
1. Accept Your Feelings
Society places a lot of pressure on people to feel the holly jolly spirit when, truthfully, we want to say “Bah humbug!”
First, accept that you are feeling this way. The full range of emotions associated with grief is valid! There is nothing wrong with admitting to yourself that not only do you miss someone terribly, but you can’t always find enjoyment during the holiday season. It might seem cliche, but it is okay not to feel okay.
2. Say No
During the holidays, there is a lot of pressure to partake in every event or gathering we are invited to. So, we often force ourselves to go when we only want to hide away from the world. Don’t be afraid to not go to every single gathering. You shouldn’t isolate yourself from the world so much that you decline every invitation. But if you need a break to stay home, watch movies, and be alone with your feelings to process, you have every right to do that.
You also don’t need to explain why you can’t go out to eat or go to somebody’s place for their holiday party. Say that you are sorry, but you won’t be able to make it. Or don’t! You don’t always have to give a reason or an excuse. Maybe next year, hope to in the future, or simply…NO, thank you all work well.
3. Accept That People Mean Well, But…
You’ll likely hear phrases or sentiments that mean well throughout this period, especially when those in your life know that you are struggling to cope with the loss of a loved one. You’ll hear things like, “They would want you to be happy!” or “You shouldn’t let your grief get in the way of celebrating the holiday.”
People mean well, but nobody has the right to tell you how you “should” feel during the holidays. Yes, your loved one likely would be sad that you are missing them so much, but that doesn’t negate that you do.
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If you are struggling to deal with grief during the holiday season, don’t hesitate to reach out to learn more about grief and/or anxiety therapy. Together, we can help you find ways to process these emotions.